You're Not Hot Akara

I put up this quote on my Instagram today to remind myself that I can only do so much and I have to prioritize my own happiness. I grew up understanding that people watch you a lot. They watch how you walk, talk, work, breathe, drink water, and all that. This made me very conscious of how I did everything just so I could be seen as the model child, daughter, student, or human being. I used to go out of my way to please people or listen to toxic criticism and try to arrange my life based on that. This made my self-esteem take a huge hit. 

As I got older, I realized it became too much to handle with me wanting to just live without paying attention to unnecessary criticism. I've had interactions with people who would complain about one thing that someone else would compliment. I used to bake and I would have feedback of people complaining about a particular flavor and some other people requesting that flavor stays on the menu because they loved it so much. That's just cake now imagine that about my life. I have no problem with criticism that actually helps but I noticed a lot of what I would get was what I was perceived to be doing wrong but nothing about what would correct it. I used to get this a lot from older people which ended up just irritating me as I grew older and made my patience for people so thin when they would come at me funny.

I believe the best way to live is to pick a couple of people who truly matter and want the best for you. Those are the kind of people that'll tell you the truth and allow you to express yourself as you need to. Also, when criticism comes around, look out for the part that will build you up or serve as a helpful tip. If it isn't there, throw the insult masking as criticism in the dustbin as well the person who says it. I'm serious. Lift the person and dump them in the bin with their opinions.

Unrelated but I spent most of my day running around Lagos mainland to obtain original copies of certain documents and I was shocked at how polite a lot of the workers were. I was ready for them to drag me by my waist-length braids but they were so polite and helpful. I thought things were getting better then I passed by Yaba and got called an ashewo for refusing to buy from a trader. That's more like the Lagos I know.